Friday, 21 October 2016
You know that shopping trip that you have to make every once in awhile? The one to the pharmacy or the grocery store where you end up dropping an insane amount of money on things that are going to be thrown away basically immediately? Paper towels, toilet paper, wet wipes, Kleenex, tampons, and the worst of the absolute worst - RAZORS.
I hate buying razors. In fact, if I ever won the lottery the first thing I would spend money on wouldn't be a new house or a fancy new car or anything like that. No, it would be a bunch of money on electrolysis so I wouldn't have to spend any of my newfound fortune on razors.
They're so expensive. I mean, things at the grocery store shouldn't have to be kept under lock and key like that. And then there's all the options! Two blades is a thing of the past - things need to have a minimum of three blades, if not five. And do you go for disposable? It seems like a waste, but I'll be damned if I can remember what kind of handles I have sitting at home. Thanks to product samples I have a lovely collection of dude razor handles at home (let's be honest, the dude ones are always better) but I should probably start carrying them around with me so I stand some sort of chance of actually pairing blades with the handles.
I'm pretty sure that the increase in the "lumbersexual" bearded dude is in direct correlation with the increase in razor prices. Dudes can't afford to be clean shaven!
Maybe if they lasted a little longer it wouldn't be so bad. I mean, I shave my underarms every day. (Oh lord, why do I share so much?) I shave my legs almost every day if you average it out over the whole year. I shave other areas on a frequent enough basis, thanks very much. So it seems like a razor only has that wonderful sharp and fresh feeling for like a day before it ends up just dragging across my skin as I stubbornly continue to use it for weeks on end.
Occam's Razor states that the simplest answer is usually the correct one. (It's also an excellent name for a razor company, which is apparently what I should be starting to build this fortune.) Following that, I should probably just stop complaining about the cost of razors in my budget and just start waxing or something else. But try as I might I'm just not a fan of ripping hair out with hot wax. I'll tolerate it on my face, but I just can't get on board with it extending south of my neck.
Basically, I'm a giant whiner and I'm poor, but at least I'm smooth.