Tuesday, 5 August 2014

How to go to a concert with Ashlie and Jenn

Yes, it's time for another exciting edition of Adventures with Ashlie and Jenn.  Which is apparently a thing, since people have specifically told me that they enjoy reading my posts where I detail our random adventures.  Our big night out of this summer was going to Rock the Park to see Weezer - for the first time for both of us.  The odd thing about Jenn and I is that even though we both love to see concerts, and clearly love to hang out together, we have only been to a couple of concerts together.  For whatever reason, this one is going down in the history books as a fantastic evening.  Everything just came together and the stars aligned and we had an amazing time.  And luckily for all of you, I was drunkenly making notes on my phone so that I could blog about the whole experience.  Yay me.

The plan of doing a blog post about the evening basically went down like this: as soon as we entered the beer tent (and each got two beers and took an acceptable amount of pictures of ourselves, obviously) I noticed a couple having a public fight.  But my favourite kind of public fight - the kind where you're trying to fight someone quietly so everyone around you doesn't realize that you're fighting.  This is my absolute favourite part about going to concerts, so I zeroed right in on them and pointed them out to Jenn.  Jenn noted that she never notices couples fighting, but always ends up spotting couples making out in public.  We immediately realized that we would need to keep track of the different types of people and experiences that only happen at concerts and that there would be a blog post happening.

Also, after taking multiple selfies together Jenn commented how nice it is to have such a long-armed friend around for that purpose.  I have mad reach, yo.

Another common concert occurrence for me is the push-by.  It doesn't matter where I'm standing, I am always in the lane of travel for everyone else there.  I'm constantly getting pushed around, but it's only because I actively get out of people's way.  Jenn stands her ground and therefore never gets pushed.  We're an odd couple.

If someone knocks your nearly-full beer out of your hand, just stare at it on the ground for about 90 seconds while the guilty party apologizes profusely.  Eventually they will just hand you a drink ticket to make up for it.  That's a Jenn fact.

We noticed some girls beside us who consistently had cold drinks on hand and we were somewhat mystified by it.  Turns out they had a drink mule - they were each taking turns making the run back to get drinks for them all.  Genius.

Boobs are bound to spill out of a shirt at some point.  Not mine, they are on lockdown.  But eventually, at pretty much any concert you're going to see some boobs.

I'm forever a people-watcher.  I love finding interesting people in a crowd and zeroing in on them, just wondering what their story is.  Lucky for you all, I started taking pictures of my favourites that evening.

This guy is basically the most perfect hipster I have ever seen.  I wish you could see his entire outfit - black skinny jeans, shoes no socks, striped tank under that denim shirt.  Amazing.  How long did it take him to grow his hair like that?  Is his name really Darrell, but he tells everyone that it's Atticus?  So many questions.

This guy had the most fascinating assortment of tattoos I've ever come across.  They all seemed so random - and there were just so many!  See that there on his neck?  Not only does he have Don Cherry's autograph on his neck, it's also beside cherries.

And the other side of his neck?  A grenade, with the pin beside it.  Also, Maple Leaf.  Because obviously.

These two were quite the pair - the manic pixie dream girl and her potentially gay best friend.  They were best friends with everyone in the crowd - dancing like maniacs, shaking asses around, at one point she was on his shoulders while he yelled at everyone to "High five this girl!!!"

Another concert certainty is that there will always be people around you willing to share...things.  If you are the type who are interesting in sharing...things with people in crowds at concerts.

At one point there was a girl behind us who was freaking out on her boyfriend.  Like trying to throw punches freaking out and he was trying to restrain her while the crowd just kind of backed away and gave them space.  This was all happening directly behind Jenn and I, but Jenn had no idea because I was making myself a human wall behind her so that she wouldn't get hit.  This is what tall friends do for their short friends.

The port-a-potty situation is always interesting at outdoor concerts like this.  Typically they're a messy affair with long lines.  This was an amazing event though - lots of facilities and they were reasonably clean with the nice portable sinks too.  My favourite part of them was the death match that ensued as people tried to make sense of the chaos though, because when a bunch of drunk people are standing in very loose "lines" facing a row of port-a-potties, eventually people are going to start racing to a stall the second the door opens.  There was cheering, there were accusations of cheating, it was quite the party.  

A key part of the concert-going experience is predicting the set list.  Jenn and I are pretty good at it, and thus were able to leave the busy beer tent when we sensed it was the lull in the set before they powered through the end.  We managed to hit up the port-a-potty death match and then slip out to about halfway back on the general admission side to hear the last few songs and then bolt out of the park ahead of the crowd, like the bosses we are.

Wearing a vest can make for an excellent leash when you're trying not to lose each other in the crowd.

I was dumb and took my sunglasses into the park even though I knew I would have to deal with them all night (I didn't bring a purse because only amateurs bring purses to something like this).  They're like $7 sunglasses, so I figured if I lost them then it wouldn't be the end of the world.  As we were making our way out of the beer tent, fighting through the crowds I dropped my sunglasses, felt myself kick them in the dark, and still managed to grab them without losing a step.  Quite the accomplishment, especially considering I think I had about 6 beers in me at that point.

Oh yeah, and most importantly we enjoyed the show and I took such wonderful pictures of the actual band as these gems...

Nailed it.

I've been called out for failing to mention anything about the beautiful and talented Tegan & Sara who opened for Weezer.  It was also my first time seeing them and they put on a really fantastic show.  Also, having them at the event meant that Jenn and I both had some very friendly ladies in the crowd chatting us up a bit...so that was fun.

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