Wednesday, 6 November 2013

My Last Day

Today is my last day.

My last day of constant back pain.  My last day of having red, angry dents in my shoulders and suddenly feeling like cold water was dumped down my arm from having a strap hitting a nerve in a weird way.

The last day of seeing someone look, then look again, then nudge their friend so that they can look too.  The last day of constantly worrying about how things look - are they high enough?  Too high?  Spilling out?  Top too low?  Am I making someone else uncomfortable?  The last day of feeling like I look 50 pounds heavier than I actually am.

After tomorrow there will be no more franken-bras.  I won't have to sew or pin or otherwise modify a bra just to get it to fit somewhat properly.  I won't have to order bras online and hope that they fit.  I won't have to go to a specialty shop and pay $150 for a single bra.  After tomorrow I'll be able to walk into any regular lingerie store and buy bras right off the shelf.

Today is my last day of feeling unbalanced.  Of feeling like I'm always on display in some manner.  Of immediately dismissing a dress or a shirt because it's something I "can't wear".

Today is my last day.

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