Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Warning - I'm going to get all swear-y

I love going to the movies.  I love paying too much for popcorn, reading a free magazine, watching 20 minutes of previews and then losing myself in a movie.  Walking out of a theatre into a dark, warm summer night is one of my favourite feelings ever.

But you know what I don't love?

When I show up in good time for a movie so I can get a good seat, then the theatre slowly starts to fill up until it's five minutes before showtime and then that theatre attendant stands at the front and tells everyone that the show is nearly sold out so if everyone could please shuffle down the row to eliminate empty seats so more people can sit together, that would be great.

Fuck no.

If I show up late to a movie, you know what I do?  I suck it up.  I sit by myself.  I sit in the shitty front seats.  Or I turn around, walk out and exchange my ticket for something else - or just walk into another theatre.  I don't expect other patrons to move their coats just so I can sit somewhere more comfortable.

Is there no order in the world?

See, there's this thing about "First come, first fucking served".  So if I show up in time to get a good seat, then there's no way in hell I should have to shuffle on down just so someone else who didn't bother to show up on time can get a decent seat.  This isn't a fucking communism theatre.  We are not all treated equally.  This is a meritocracy!  You show up early, you've earned your seat.  You show up late, you've earned a shitty front row seat with complimentary neck cramp.



Sara said...


Joan Crawford said...

Right on! I show up at least 20 minutes early to every movie (sometimes with a 7 year old and a 4 year old to entertain!), so I can sit (usually alone - it's the best way to really absorb a movie) in the middle, center, sweet spot of the theater. Everyone else can eat shit.