I like to think I'm pretty handy. I don't always know what I'm doing, but I'll look it up online, or just kind of figure my way through it. So when the new dishwasher was due to be delivered and someone had to disconnect the old dishwasher, I figured I was up to the task.
Everyone I talked to about it said the same thing - Make sure the water is turned off, and you'll be fine.
I should have listened more closely.
Apparently when people say "make sure the water is turned off" they mean really, really turned off. Like turn the valve as hard as you can, then try to turn it another quarter turn more. And if your hands are so dry and cracked that you were literally wearing five bandaids on your hands a few days before and you can't make a fist, then maybe you should use something else to turn that valve so you can turn it hard enough to shut off the water.
So here's what happened. I went to disconnect the dishwasher. I found that the hoses from the dishwasher were attached to the pipes with clamps. Took the clamps off, no problem. Then I come to find that the hoses are glued to the pipes. Hmmm. Not a problem, I'll grab a utility knife and hack through it.
Cut through the drain hose, no problem.
Cut through the water access hose and a little water starts to come out. I figure, no problem. That seems right, there's probably a little water left in the hose, that's why I have a towel here. I cut a little deeper and all of a sudden...
WATER IS SHOOTING EVERYWHERE!
So I bolt downstairs to the basement and start turning any valve I can find. Run back upstairs, water is pouring all over the kitchen. Try to force the valve under the sink to turn a bit more and finally get the water to shut off most of the way.
So now picture me standing in the kitchen, home alone, in my underwear (my pants were soaked, so I just threw them off in a mad fit) with an inch of water all over the kitchen floor.
Of course I take some pictures for the blog, because what else am I going to do in this situation? You can't really tell how much water there is anywhere though, you know, since water is clear and all.
Here's where I desperately tried to attack the pipe with duct tape. It didn't really work.
And the ceiling and foggy window. Did I mention it was hot water that was shooting out? Fun for me.
So there I am, standing in a kitchen full of water and no idea what to do next. It was late, too late to call anyone for help. And really, what would they do? I don't have a shop vac, so I just started throwing down every towel I owned trying to sop it up and then try to mop up the rest.
Incidentally, I've decided that a shop vac totally pays for itself the first time you have one when you really, really need one. I might need to invest in one.
I managed to get it cleaned up enough, but you know how floods are. The damage is done. Here's the trim in the kitchen...
And yes, I didn't bother to paint the whole wall behind the dishwasher. I'm lazy like that. Also, do you see how crazy that wall is? It's like someone spackled it with a butter knife or something. Also, the trim work in this house is kind of nuts - I keep finding terrible joints like this, all conveniently hidden behind things.
So yeah. I might not be a plumber. We'll see how I make out installing the new dishwasher. Hopefully it's a little less eventful!