I've always hated when people would say they needed time to "find themselves". Usually it was coming from someone who was trying to rationalize taking a year off from school when I was finishing high school/in university. It always felt like a cop out to me, just another excuse to delay becoming an adult.
So that's why I'm not going to say that I need to "find myself". I know where I am.
What I do need to do though, is put more focus on myself.
The last few years seem to have been about everyone but me.
2009 - was the wedding.
2010 - was being pregnant
2011 - was figuring Vivian out
So I think 2012 should be spent with me finding ways to focus on myself a little more. Obviously I'm still a mom, which means I can't always do what I want to do, but I think I need to find some little ways to take better care of myself and to generally take charge of my own happiness. It doesn't always have to be some big pampering day or anything, but just little ways to let myself know that I deserve just as much time and attention as everyone else in my life.
I can go to bed early when I need to.
I can stay up late when I want to.
I can read a trashy magazine.
I can order the large fries.
I can go for a walk to clear my head.
I can buy a new pair of jeans without feeling ridiculously guilty about it.
At least, I think I can.
We'll see how it goes in 2012.
This is the last Radvent post! I'm so sad. I hope everyone had as much fun reading them as I've had writing them. Maybe next year you'll join me?