Thursday, 1 December 2011

Radvent - Day 1: Challenging


Now that NaBloPoMo is done, I'm starting a new blogging project.  Megan at Princess Lasertron is hosting the second annual Radvent.  What is Radvent?  It's a 25 day blogging project giving you prompts to help kickstart your journalling and creative process leading up to Christmas.  I really enjoyed reading it last year, and I'm a huge fan of Princess Lasertron.  Megan's creativity, individuality and hard work is incredibly inspiring.  I'm so excited to be a part of Radvent this year!

So, every day until December 25th, I'll be posting a Radvent post.  I'll still be throwing in my regular posts, so you'll still get your regular doses of randomness and Vivian.

Here's day one - Challenging.

Without a doubt, 2011 has been the single most challenging year of my life.  Being home as a first-time mom has been difficult emotionally, physically, financially, mentally...you name it.  There were days I didn't want to keep doing it, there were days that I couldn't bear to be alone at home with her for a minute longer.  Of course, all of that difficulty gets balanced out by the little successes, the bright spots that keep you going.  Smiles, giggles, successful naps, even just getting out the door with your hair dried seem like momentous victories.

I wouldn't give up this year for anything, even though it's pushed me to the brink more times than I can count.  It's shown me how strong I can be.  How far I'm able to bend without breaking.  It's taught me how to prioritize and recognize what really needs to be done in a day, and what I really need to keep going.

Looking ahead, there are many more challenges in my future.  Of course the immediate one is dealing with going back to work.  Beyond that this year, I'm planning to push myself to lose the rest of the "baby weight" (let's be honest though, it's Taco Bell and McDonalds weight at this point), push myself to pay off bills, and push myself to find more opportunities to grow as a person - things I can participate in to feel autonomous.  I need accomplishments outside of Vivian and outside of my home.  I love being a mom, and I love that little girl like crazy, but I need to continue to challenge myself to define myself on my own terms.  I need to be proud to be Ashlie, not just "Vivian's mom".


2 comments:

Lenore said...

Congratulations for being a mom that Vivian can look up to when she grows up! Not enough people understand the daily struggles of moms, and even though I'm not one myself, I appreciate all the work that moms do without much in the way of thank yous. :)

I found your link through Megan's Radvent post, and I'm really glad I took the time to read through your post. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see your other Radvents!

DoubleTakeMama said...

Amen, from one new (again) mama to another. Please do get something to accomplish aside from your daughter. It'll be so good for you, I promise!

I am really going to start trying for that "get your hair dried before you go out the door" thing in 2012...

Thanks.