I like to think I live a pretty clean life. I like to exercise, although I haven't been able to do it often enough lately. I enjoy a beer after a long day, but rarely drink to excess. I've never smoked, never done drugs - unless you count forgetting to open the garage door while I'm spray painting furniture. All in all, pretty clean living. I do have a vice though - diet pop.
I used to be much worse - in university it wasn't unusual for me to go through five or six cans of Diet Pepsi in a day. At the time I didn't drink coffee, so it was my main source of caffeine. After university I gradually weaned myself down to a more reasonable one or two cans a day. I've tried to give it up entirely before - once when I was getting a lot of migraines, and then again when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant I stuck to regular pop in order to avoid the aspartame. I always feel better when I'm off it, but somehow I end up sucked back in.
So here I am - once again drinking way too much Diet Pepsi and/or Diet Dr. Pepper. Living with Vivian definitely requires a certain amount of caffeine, but I rarely drink coffee at home. The last time I made myself a pot of coffee, it resulted in Vivian dunking her hand in my cup of coffee. So yeah, that doesn't happen very often. Lately I've been finding myself going through several cans a day again, which usually ends up with me feeling like crap by the time dinner rolls around. I know I should cut it out and focus on drinking more water or something, but it's so hard!
Part of it is definitely the caffeine addiction. When I only drink coffee once or twice a week, I need the daily pick-me-up of a sweet, delicious can of aspartamy goodness. The other part of it is the entitlement. Because I don't have many vices, I can tell myself that I deserve it. There are far worse things I could be indulging in on a daily basis, so why should I feel badly about a can of pop? Or three? The sweetness can often keep me from digging into chocolate or something else equally bad for my waistline, so I feel stuck.