Thursday, 15 September 2011

Anniversary Gifts

I was watching Ellen the other day and Ashton Kutcher was talking about anniversary gifts.  He was saying how the 6th anniversary gift is candy.  That didn't seem right, so I checked it out on the ever-reliable Wikipedia.

Turns out, he's right.

The traditional U.K. anniversary gift is sugar.  Weird, right?  Jagger and I are trying to follow the traditional anniversary gifts, which will probably only last another year or so before "gift card" becomes the de facto gift.  What I thought was strange though, were the Modern U.S. gifts.  I've copied the chart below.  Let's peruse it, shall we?


YearTraditional (U.S.)Traditional (UK)[12][13]Modern (U.S.)
1stPaperCottonClocks
2ndCottonPaperChina
3rdLeatherCrystal, glass
4thLinen, silkFruit and flowersAppliances
5thWoodSilverware
6thIronSugarWood objects
7thWool, copperWoollenDesk sets
8thBronzeSaltLinens, lace
9thPotteryCopperLeather goods

Okay...so far, so good.  Nothing too excessive, although the appliances for the 4th anniversary seems a bit much, but whatever.  Moving on...


10thTin, aluminumTinDiamond
11thSteelFashion jewelry
12thSilkSilk and fine linenPearls, colored gems
13thLaceTextiles, furs
14thIvoryGold jewelry
15thCrystalWatches


Whoa.  We took a quick step up there, didn't we?  Diamonds already?  I mean, traditional is Tin.  Seems a little excessive, right?





16thSilver holloware
17thFurniture
18thPorcelain
19thBronze
20thChinaPlatinum
21stBrassnickel
22ndCopper
23rdSilver plate
24thMusical instruments
25thSilver

At this point, the traditional gifts only pop up every 5 years, but the modern ones just keep going.  I don't even know what holloware is, and the musical instruments year sounds pretty entertaining.





26thOriginal pictures
27thSculpture
28thOrchids
29thNew furniture
30thPearlDiamond
31stTimepieces
32ndConveyances
(e.g., automobiles)
33rdAmethyst
34thOpal
35thCoraljadeCoralJade
36thBone china
37thAlabaster
38thBeryl, tourmaline
39thLace
40thRuby

I love how they specify "New furniture".  Not some antique.  We're getting new stuff this year!  Then it's on to more diamonds, a quick stop for a new watch, then you get a car?  Really?  But then you drop down to lace for the 39th?  This is weird.





41stLand
42ndImproved real estate
43rdTravel
44thGroceries
45thSapphire

I find it really funny how you get land for your 41st anniversary, then apparently you're supposed to improve on whatever you built on that land the next year.  But really?  Groceries for 44 years?  You get a car for the 32nd anniversary, but you go to the grocery store for the 44th?





46thOriginal poetry tribute
47thBooks
48thOptical goods
(e.g., telescope, microscope)
49thLuxuries, any kind
50thGold
55thEmeraldEmerald
60thDiamond

I think this might be my favourite section.  Original poetry tribute, then books (um, I got a book for my first anniversary) then you get a telescope or microscope, then "Luxuries, any kind".  Just any old kind of luxuries.  You know, whatever you can find.





65thBlue sapphire 70thPlatinum[14][15][16] 75thDiamond, goldDiamond, gold 80thOak[17][18]Diamond, pearl 85thWineDiamond, sapphire 90thStoneDiamond, emerald 95thDiamond, ruby 100th10-carat diamond


Then you just start piling on the jewels.  Just throw a diamond in there with whatever else you can find, sapphires, emeralds, rubies, you know the drill.  Then if you can survive to the 100th anniversary, you get a 10-carat diamond.  Which will no doubt break your 130 year old arm.


Is it just me, or is this the craziest, most excessive list ever?  Of course, according to Wiki (and why would I doubt Wiki?) the modern list was compiled by Jewelers of America, so I'm surprised every year doesn't have a diamond attached.










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