Monday, 17 May 2010

Hey, Pal - Shut up.

Do you ever have those moments when you feel like Larry David? I love, love, love Larry David because he's always right. He always ends up in these insane social situations where someone does something completely uncouth and he's the only one who seems to notice. Ever had a moment like that? Where someone just gets under your skin for one reason or another?

Well, I had a moment like that on Friday.

We'd gone to the movies to see Iron Man 2 (for the second time, still great!). Of course, the theatre was busy, but we were there early enough to get good seats. Of course, there's those people who show up late and seem to be amazed by the fact that a popular movie is busy on a Friday night. The guy in front of us starts asking everyone in the aisle if they would mind sliding down a seat so that he and his wife-type person could sit together.

Strike one.

Okay, pal. If you show up late at a theatre, you do not get the privilege to ask people to rearrange themselves when they got there early. You either sit separately or you sit in the crappy seats way up front. That's the way it goes, deal with it. There have been lots of times when I've walked into a busy theatre, realized I wouldn't get a decent seat and changed my mind and went to see another movie.

Then as we waited for the movie to start, we decided to check out the score of the hockey game. Our friend David checked it on his Blackberry and reported it to us. This part is important, he just checked it and said, "Oh, it's 3-3". He didn't stand up and yell it, didn't offer this information to anyone around us, he just told us.

What does rude buddy in front of us do? He turns around and says, "Excuse me, could you not tell me the score of the game? I'm taping it. I already knew it was tied, but I don't want to ruin the end."

Oh, hell no.

Um, was anyone talking to you, rude man? No. We didn't tap you on the shoulder and inform you of this vital information, we were talking amongst ourselves and you decided to force yourself into our conversation. Turn around and go about your business. Maybe if the hockey game was that important to you, you should be at home watching it instead of watching Iron Man 2.


All I wanted to do for the rest of the movie was kick the back of his seat. What a jerk-face.


Jenn said...

I love this post! Yes! Yes! I have encountered people like this before, and…ugh! Just, I know!

And good for you for restraining yourself from telling this guy to just GO HOME THEN!

Joan Crawford said...

Oh, man - I always, always am seated near those people! A packed theater, 200 people and one lady is talking to her friend, guess who is sitting behind her. When I went to see Pan's Labyrinth (which was awesome) there was a lady 20 or 30 years my senior in the seat in front of me. She was talking about God knows what all through the movie - and it is not a movie you can can talk through. I finally had enough (mind you, there is something wrong with me as none of the other hundreds of people did anything) and I did this hissing "Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" for like 2 seconds longer than was necessary (but I couldn't stop myself in my righteous fury.)
I also shushed people at Memoirs of a Geisha, and The Descent.
When we went to see The Departed (good but not Oscar good) there was a group of idiots behind us who blathered the whole time and then when everyone gets shot one of the girls goes "Oh, my God, this is, like, making me sad. This is, like, the worst thing ever!" Right in the middle of the action! and other people laughed! I felt like Annie Wilkes "Have you all gone insane!?"
Now, here's the thing about the shush, you have to be up higher than they are. You can't shush from below, it's all psychological and is just bad form.
I admire you for keeping your cool - I mean it's one thing to be the blatherer and it's another thing (probably just as bad) to be the shusher. I am not allowed to choose where we sit anymore because of my behavior :D

ashlie said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! When I was at the theatre for Crazy Heart and Shutter Island both times there was an inappropriate laugher behind me - you know, they like middle-aged guy who just chuckles awkwardly at completely inappropriate times? "I'm an alcoholic" hahaha, so hilarious. Argh. It was terrible. But, both times they were behind me, so I couldn't shush, because as Joan pointed out, you can only shush people in front of you, it doesn't have the same effect when you have to do it over your shoulder. On another note, I often go to the VIP theatre (because it's amazing and totally, totally worth the money!) but I swear, everytime I'm there, there's someone in front of me who farts through the whole movie! So don't pay extra for that!

Wayne said...

This all seems so familiar. Do I get credit for an assist on this blog?

ashlie said...

Yes, Wayne, you should get credit in this blog for also being annoyed with him!